For Community Care Day, I am helping organize a free cookout for the local heroes of West View, PA. I’m a little nervous for it, but mostly I’m just excited. I can’t wait for this Saturday. I just looked up the weather report and it said there were scattered thunderstorms that day. Not quite cookout weather, right? If it rains that day, it would create a lot of problems!
Here’s the reason for the blog post: When I saw the weather report, my mind immediately flashed back to last summer. I remember organizing events for Harvest Church and having a feeling of sheer panic every time I realized something wouldn’t go to plan. And I wouldn’t just panic when something came up. I was paranoid all the time. I was just waiting for the moment that I would realize I had made some huge mistake and everyone would know I had failed. Maybe I should say, everyone would know I was a failure.
God has done some big stuff in my life.
I didn’t realize how much He had changed me until I started working at APC. Little things have gone wrong. I’ve screwed up some things. But for the first time in my life I am not panicking. I don’t feel like a failure. I am not paranoid 24/7. In fact, I am openly telling people when I screw up. Last summer, I felt so sick over mistakes that I made that I couldn’t write in my journal without shaking. I know this change comes from the confidence that He has given me and the truth that He has put inside me that I am not a failure. God’s truth truly does bring freedom!
