A few years ago I put a lot of thought into gossip – what was it? what kind of talk did it encompass? was venting just a disguised form of gossip?
There are some pretty basic things that I knew gossip was – “gab sessions” about others, talking badly about someone behind their back, “did you hear?” type stuff. Obvious gossip. Less clear was things like, “I’m having a really hard time with [this person]. They do [blah blah blah].” In other words, does gossip include anytime you ever talk badly about someone even if the purpose is to solve the interpersonal problem?
I made it a point to never talk about anybody ever because I didn’t want to gossip. Recently I’ve noticed I have really relaxed on that rule which has made me rethink the questions I asked a couple of years ago.
I have been in training classes for a few weeks for a new job I am trying for. In my classes yesterday I learned two leadership principles that clarified the gossip issue for me:
1. When you’re up, go down. When you’re down, go up. If you’re having a great day, let the people below you know it! When you’re having a bad day, talk to a supervisor. Talking to those below you would be gossip.
2. Because… Gossip is taking your problems to anyone except the person who can help you fix them. I’m not wording it as well as my teacher, but basically she meant that venting down or laterally is gossiping. If I have a problem, I need to be “going up” to my supervisor.
Again, obvious gossip is talking badly about others behind their backs. Less obvious gossip is venting about a problem with a person to someone other than the person that can help you solve your problems. While this wording is easily applicable in a business setting, I think it can be applied in other areas, too.
Thanks, leadership training!
